


Rolling Fire

by AltUniverseWash



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Alternia, Alternian Revolution, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Grubs (Homestuck), Hiveswap: Friendsim, Kissing, LGBTQ Female Character, Lesbian Character, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, One Shot, POV Lesbian Character, Pining, Short & Sweet, Troll Romance (Homestuck), Trolls (Homestuck), brief depiction of self-harm, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27891883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AltUniverseWash/pseuds/AltUniverseWash
Summary: As the flames of rebellion grow hotter, the jade caverns have been largely abandoned. Bronya Ursama and Lynera Skalbi keep to their duties, hoping to protect the next generation of Alternians from the war rising outside.One night, Lynera finally decides that she's done hiding how she feels.
Relationships: Lynera Skalbi/Bronya Ursama
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Rolling Fire

**Author's Note:**

> After playing Hiveswap Act 2 and going back and playing a couple Friendsim routes, I realized I just really, really like Lynera. She really seems like someone who's essentially well-meaning but has a very hard time communicating how she feels and understanding how she's "supposed" to act around people.

Most of the others had gone after the first attack — they’d begun to run when the first low hum of the drones sounded over the horizon. Bronya told them not to go — told them that there was no way that they’d be able to outrun the winged death that was the Imperial attack drones. The attack wasn’t even specifically directed at the caverns.

In the end, it hadn’t mattered. Half the jades decided that they’d be better off taking their chances outside — they’d fled during the day, thinking the attack wouldn’t come until night.

They had, unfortunately, been wrong about that.

Lynera stayed inside the caverns and shut her ears against the sounds from outside — the roar of the bombs dulled down to a muffled growl. She shut her eyes tightly, curled up in the corner, and wished that it would all be over quickly. If she was going to die, she hoped that at least it would be fast in coming — that was about all she felt like she could hope for these days.

The fires of the rebellion were fanning everywhere, and sooner or later the jades would be caught up in it. Some of them had already figured that out and taken their sides. Daraya had vanished in the middle of the day a perigee ago — gone off to someplace unknown that Lynera couldn’t and didn’t want to follow. Lanque was already talking about leaving too — he didn’t seem much for rebellion, but he also didn’t seem much for sticking out the possibility that the caverns would actually become a target one day.

As the number of jades dwindled and the lusii managed to run off or escape, Lynera could see the stress wearing on Bronya. Every day, the matriarch of the cloister got up to continue her routine — to do her best to tend to the grubs and see the wigglers off to their trials. More and more, it seemed that this was all an exercise in futility. After all, with the turmoil outside the caves, the idea of surviving the trials simply meant being thrust into the midst of a war with no particular skills to survive it.

Lynera tried her best not to think about it.

Bronya needed her help, after all.

* * *

Sleep was a rare commodity these days — something rare in coming and hard in keeping. Lynera woke up in the middle of the night-cycle — the traces of the nightmares still holding to the edges of her conscious awareness. She’d been standing over their bodies — all of their bodies. Wanshi and Lanque and Daraya… and in spite of herself, she felt horrible about what happened to them.

And Bronya was there, of course. The dream had paid special attention to the detail of her lifeless body. Lynera shivered, despite the warm embrace of the sopor slime around her. It was a solemn truth that her subconscious was invariably and unrelentingly cruel to her.

She pushed her way out of the slime and stepped onto the cool stone floor. It took a moment to dress — she still felt the need for some level of decorum even with everything falling apart outside. What could, after all, would their cloister be without its basic integrity. Her clothes on and her hair brushed, Lynera set off to wander the halls until she felt sufficiently exhausted to possibly drop back to sleep for another hour or so before she had to be up to tend to the grubs.

There was a time when the hallways would’ve rung with activity, even at this hour. Jades would’ve been bustling around on their shifts, grubs in hand, tending to various duties around the clock. Lusii would’ve been wandering the caves, watching over the grubs and small wigglers that weren’t yet ready for the trials. Everyone had moved with a sense of duty and purpose. Bronya had overseen all of it with her characteristic efficiency, and Lynera had been proud to help her in her duties. It was, after all, their calling in life…

Lynera found that her path had taken her into the smaller side cavern where Bronya had established her nursery. In spite of the borderline-treasonous idea of helping weak and ailing grubs rather than culling them, Bronya had persisted in that small defiance born out of her genuine care for others. In spite of the risk, Lynera had supported her wholeheartedly. Because Bronya was right to care — and Lynera would support her regardless.

A dull light shone from inside the nursery. With the mass exodus of fellow jades and reduced shifts, there was no reason for anyone to be in the nursery — Lynera was sure there weren’t even any grubs in there at the moment. She shifted up against the wall and edged closer to the doorway, wishing desperately that she’d brought her knife with her.

From within, she could hear someone making noise — someone softly crying. There was something so familiar about it…

Shifting around the corner, Lynera saw why — Bronya Ursama was kneeling by the side of one of the nursery pools and holding her head in her hands. She was wearing pajamas — a pair made of soft flannel. A pair of pajamas that Lynera had given her — anonymously — for her hatching day. Lynera didn’t think she’d ever seen Bronya wearing them… but she didn’t think she’d seen Bronya crying before. A first for everything, apparently.

Softly, Lynera knocked on the edge of the door. With a start, Bronya turned.

“Who is— oh… Lynera.” Her voice was quiet and hesitant. “I’m sorry, is everything okay?”

Thoughts raced through Lynera’s mind — what should she tell Bronya? Should she lie about how she felt? Should she say she was fine and everything was going to be okay? She’d been telling that particular lie for sweeps — long enough that it felt almost true now.

Or…

She could tell her the truth.

“No,” Lynera said quietly. “No, everything isn’t okay.”

She clenched her fists tightly and stepped into the room, looking around nervously as if there was even a remote chance of someone else being there to see her — to embarrass her. Bronya shifted and stood up, brushing the front of her pajamas.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her face suddenly a mask of worry.

“No! I should be asking _you_ that question! Every day you get up and put on your bravest face so that we can all do what we need to do! You lead us and inspire us and… and…” Lynera didn’t know how to finish without breaking down into a fit of sobbing, so she let herself trail off into a harsh sniffle.

Bronya took a step forward and reached out — and put a hand on Lynera’s shoulder. Lynera hoped that the light was low enough that Bronya couldn’t see the jade flush that suddenly spread to her cheeks.

“Part of being a leader,” she said, “is… 1 — making sure everyone you lead is okay, and 2 — comforting them when they aren’t.”

Lynera smiled, and Bronya continued — “so if something is bothering you, I want you to tell me.”

“Okay.” Lynera drew in a deep breath — and for the briefest moment, she wondered if she should say everything. And before she realized what was happening, she was doing it.

“Okay,” Lynera said quietly. “You do so much to help us and you want the best for us, but now everything is burning around us! Most of the others are gone and we’ve got fewer and fewer grubs and wigglers. More of them are dying — the mother grub is sick, and the drones don’t come with pails anymore.”

She shook her head and looked around the nursery. “There was a time when this place was full of grubs! When you took care of them because you…” Lynera stopped and fought back a ragged sob. “Because you _care_ about everyone so much. Because you want what’s _best_ for everyone and if they could just see that maybe…”

She wanted to say that if they’d all just listened, maybe everything would be better, but the lie died before it even reached her lips.

“Never mind,” Lynera said. “It’s just that…”

She was trying to fight back tears again. And as she struggled with the well of emotions that was overflowing in front of this woman who she could never admit her feelings to, something she didn’t expect happened.

Bronya had moved her hand to place her palm on Lynera’s cheek, and her lips had parted ever-so-slightly.

Inside her mind, Lynera felt something slip away and fall back — some age-old block that she didn’t care about anymore.

“It’s just that everyone needed your leadership so much and I wanted to help. I wanted to help because I admire you, and because it’s the right thing to do but… also…”

She sighed. “I wanted to help because I love—”

Lynera stopped herself before she finished the sentence — her face exploded into a flush of jade and she cursed at herself. How was she going to say something like that? She could’ve said that she pitied Bronya and that would’ve been… maybe not fine, but at least within the boundaries of convention. At least… an acceptable thing to feel. But _love_ was something she wasn’t supposed to feel.

Bronya didn’t move. Didn’t pull away. Didn’t scream or yell or turn with a look of disgust.

“Really?” was all she said.

Lynera closed her eyes and leaned softly into the feeling of Bronya’s hand against her cheek. Her blood-pusher was working especially hard — thumping inside of her chest. Her face felt significantly hotter than normal, and there was a swell of feeling all over her body — a kind of rushing tingle that she didn’t think she’d ever actually felt before.

And what was the sense in lying anymore? What was the point in hiding this? Everything was rolling fire around them — the whole world.

What was one more thing on top of all that?

“Yes,” Lynera said — her voice barely a whisper. “I love you.”

Bronya didn’t say anything, and Lynera drew in a sharp breath, keeping her eyes shut tight. “I know I have no right to say that. Or feel that. I know… I know I’m probably overbearing and it’s probably a lot to even have me as a friend and I appreciate how much you allow me to be near y—”

She never got a chance to finish the sentence.

Bronya was kissing her. Lynera wasn’t about to admit how long she’d waited for this — how many times she’d had remarkably indecent thoughts about it. How much she’d thought about how it would feel.

Soft.

Softer than she’d imagined. And strangely hesitant — almost fearful.

The hand had moved from her cheek to the back of her head, pulling her gently into the kiss. And Lynera moved into it, because this was what she had wanted for so long. In the briefest moment, she felt the desire to stay close to Bronya and the stinging regret that she hadn’t said anything for so long. That she’d been so fearful.

The warm pressure on her lips receded… and Lynera opened her eyes.

Bronya was looking at her, her face flushed and her lips slightly parted.

“I’m sorry,” Lynera whispered. “I’m so sorry!”

“Why? Why are you sorry?” Bronya’s voice was confused.

“It’s not my place to… we’re just… I shouldn’t have said anything!”

Quickly, Lynera shrugged Bronya’s hand off and turned away.

“I’m sorry!” She said, her voice louder than before. “This was a mistake and I’m sorry!”

Her shoulder slumping, Lynera walked quickly out of the nursery and back towards her room.

* * *

She’d been able to get back to her room before she started crying in earnest. She sat at her desk and finally the tears came in full — hot and ugly and incessant.

How could she have been so incredibly stupid? How could she have said and done something that, in all likelihood, would destroy her friendship with Bronya forever. As soon as Bronya realized fully what had happened… that’s when the anger would come. She might not kick Lynera out of the cloister — they barely had enough jades on hand to tend to the basic duties required of them — but she would never look at Lynera the same again.

“Stupid stupid stupid stupid,” Lynera muttered to herself, softly banging her head against the worn wooden top of the desk. “Why am I so fucking _stupid?!_ ”

She’d admitted to the most flushed possible feelings for Bronya. Something that was borderline forbidden to talk about in Alternian culture — to claim something so strongly. But it was _true_ and there wasn’t anything Lynera could do to deny that. She’d been watching this woman since she entered the cloister — her admiration growing with every passing day. She’d been taken into confidence and shown sides of Bronya that she knew most never got to see.

To throw all that away.

For what?

A kiss and a confession?

“Stupid!” She banged her head hard enough against the desk for it to hurt this time — hard enough to remember it. And then she began crying again.

Crying so hard that she didn’t hear the sound of another person walking into her room.

“Please don’t do that to yourself, Lynera.” The sound of Bronya’s voice behind her had Lynera up with a jolt. She turned in the chair to see Bronya standing there, still wearing the pajamas, and frowning.

“Oh no… I’m so sorry, Bronya! Please forgive me! Forget I said anything — if we could just go back to how things were I’ll never bother you again and I’ll never say anything! Please please please…” she could hear the pleading in her own voice.

Bronya walked over and knelt down next to her. And to Lynera’s surprise, she placed a palm on her cheek again.

“Why would I do that when… 1 — you said you love me, and 2 — I… love you too.”

Lynera was entirely sure that she’d lost her mind at this point. This had to be an especially elaborate Bronya-shaped hallucination that was simply reflecting whatever she wanted to hear most desperately — whatever secret desires she held deep in her blood-pusher.

But this felt so _real._ She could feel the slightly-rough texture of Bronya’s palm against the sensitive skin of her cheek. She could smell the clean scent of soap and lotion — smells that she realized she’d come to associate with the woman she loved.

“I knew you gave me these, you know? Knew for a long time.” Bronya’s other hand fidgeted with the soft flannel of her collar. “I didn’t say anything because…”

“...I’m not sure why, actually.” She looked away, shame in her face. “I suppose I had my suspicions that you felt the way you do about me and…”

She heaved a thick sigh. “I didn’t say anything for a lot of reasons… maybe… 1 — I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, 2 — I didn’t want to do something inappropriate for our position, and 3 — I… hoped that maybe the feelings would simply fade away if I ignored them.”

“It turns out,” Bronya said, “that is not at all how that works.”

“But you said it yourself,” Lynera said, her voice tinged with pain, “it would be inappropriate for our position. We’re expected to be…”

She couldn’t finish the sentence — she couldn’t think of anything.

“The world is on fire. Who cares what they all think?” Bronya’s voice had an edge to it that Lynera didn’t think she’d heard before. Her hand had drifted to the back of Lynera’s head again, her fingers gently grasping her hair.

Lynera closed her eyes.

“I want to do it again.”

Their second kiss was slower than the first, and it lasted a lot longer.

And this time, the bitter taste of regret was nowhere to be found.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! If you liked it, leave me some kudos or a comment!
> 
> [Follow me on Twitter!](https://www.twitter.com/AltUniverseWash)


End file.
